What is D&D bling?
Welcome to the second episode of D&D Bling - a look at the stylish accessorizing of heroes in medieval fantastic worlds.
D&D Bling #2: Druids
In the first installment of this series we took a look at paladin bling. Today we analyze druids - a sneakily bling-prone Dungeons & Dragons class. I can already hear you object. Wait, druids are nature lovers and tree huggers. They hardly wear any metal.
Just because it’s not metal doesn’t mean it’s not bling.
A blinged up druid
Antlers
Who wears antlers? Seriously.
Feathers
If you attach feathers to your tunic and you get into a fight chances are they will be ruined by the end of it. However most druids I know wear a panoply of flowing pristine verdoyant feathers that always look freshly plucked out of a bird. They must keep a stash of them somewhere and change them regurlary or take ridiculously good care of them. That’s bling.
Entourage
Druids won’t just hang out with other members of their race like we all do. They like to keep a few cute and cuddly animals around at all times. I can’t blame them. We all know walking a puppy dog is the best way to meet girls. Considering druids live in the wild they want to maximize their chances when they actually see people.
Fur
Fur coats are uber-bling. The roller-skating disco-pimps of the 70s wore them proudly. Enough said.
Tight leather
The druids who opt out of the fur fashion trend end up wearing leather - like the lady druid in the picture above. Leather has always been fashionable and the druids know it although they claim they just wear it because that’s all they could find.
Proof of druid bling abounds
All the druids I’ve know were excentric. They all wanted to be special, different. That attitude usually means they’ll have unique bling that they’ll want to show off. Is anyone - other than me - annoyed by druid fashion?
10 Comments
2:48 pm on August 10th, 2007
Druids are like the vegan of bling.
3:32 pm on August 10th, 2007
Good point. But then druids talk with plants. So they are like people to them. So do druids have qualms about eating veggies? There’s really no point in being a vegan if you can feel the plant’s pain as you rip it out of the ground to eat.
In any case. There’s plenty of meat to eat after you kill that elk to steal its antlers.
9:46 am on August 11th, 2007
three words to cover druid bling, ironwood, dragon scale, and darkwood all over. platinum dragon scale if you want to front the most.
2:21 am on August 12th, 2007
Poncey druids. Druids are the ultimate in pimping - what better way to get stoned on the chronic than a control plant spell? They’re upscale hippie grung witih their bondage armor, more at nature because I have special Charmin Ultralight Bushes of Bum Wiping +5, and their “oh, I don’t touch anything that isn’t “natural”" b.s. And frankly, I’d rather have them that way than the alternative: crazy log cabin, eating iron rations all the time screaming spear waving rednecks.
11:58 pm on August 18th, 2007
“like the lady druid in the picture above.” she isnt just a lady druid shes VADANIA! i named a chick at skool after her…
anyway
I think you should rename this section “Bitch about the looks of different class’” cant you put some positive stuff about their “bling”?
4:35 am on August 19th, 2007
Sure, I could write about good bling and cool equipment. But I think I’ll have to do this in a new series of articles.
The D&D bling rants are some of my most popular articles. So I’m not changing a winning recipe.
Feel free to add positive comments to my biased and cliche look at classes and stylish accessorizing.
5:19 am on August 19th, 2007
ok positive… they are fully sickness cause they hip and happening with da nature!!!
3:33 pm on August 23rd, 2007
I’ll have to agree with most of your bling rants seeing that i have a horribly blinged out character. we play the Older version of D&D and i’m pimpen a Druid/Mage…. talk about bling problems
3:39 pm on August 23rd, 2007
Hey! That’s a good idea: multiclass bling. Now that’s a one-way ticket to over-blinging.
7:03 pm on July 10th, 2008
Druids arn’t particularly concerned with “people” bling!
They want to shock the socks off the dem shambling mounds dat be propin up the dark end of da wood.
Druid bling aint bling to your regular playa but if your a vegetable that S**tuff is impressive!
Never mind that no one has posted for almost a year, i had to share!