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Celebrating 30 years of stupid D&D monsters

Written by Expy - Published on August 6, 2007

Even though I wrote about Dungeons & Dragons monsters when Monster Manual V was released I could never have summed up the mind-boggling weirdness of some monsters that were published in D&D work as well as the guy from
Head Injury Theatre.

Do you have time to kill?

This guy wrote an amazing article about D&D monster – the stupid ones. And guess what? It’s Monday so you have plenty of time to kill while you’re at work. Have fun with this one.

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Written by Expy

Meet Expy The Red Dragon

Expy is the mascot for DungeonMastering.com and the real mastermind behind Expy Games. He likes to hoard treasure, terrorize neighbors, burn down villages, and tell white dragon jokes..

No matter how fearful the legends claim dragons are, they always end up being defeated in 5 rounds by adventuring parties they encounter. That’s what dragons are – experience points for the heroes in your Dungeons & Dragon party. And this mascot is no different, hence the name Expy.

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22 Responses to “Celebrating 30 years of stupid D&D monsters”
  1. Pé0 says:

    Nice!!!! only sad thing is that I knew 80% of those moster and had an idea o their stats.

  2. Phil Smith says:

    That was fun. Loved it. Although the giant hamster taken from the Tome of Horrors was actually derived from the giant space hamster.
    But that’s just me splitting hairs and earning a good few hours of derision…

  3. Yax says:

    I you get a chance you can also check out non-D&D stuff on this guy’s website. It’s very entertaining.

  4. shaun says:

    very nice i really like the new re-design of your website. Looks much more professional! Keep up the good work :)

  5. Hoss99 says:

    Sadly our old DM made us face some of those things :)… Like the new website BTW.

  6. Yax says:

    Thanks! Yeah. I’m guilty of using weird monsters too. It’s a phase a DM has to go through.

  7. Phil says:

    Weird monsters phase or horribly complex template combination phase.

    Like my Half-Air Elemental Ghast summoned as a botched Animate Dead scroll activation by a toady of the Elemental Evil temple…. :)

    Or my favorite a Chaos-Shaped Mutant Wereboar Ogre!!

  8. Yax says:

    Now that’s a monster! I love it! Can it be topped?

  9. Phil says:

    I’m too inept at HTML to link to it but there’s a columnist on the WoTC D&D main page who did a 20-headed Tarrasque. CR42 I think.

    20 vorpal swords attacks per round…

  10. Yax says:

    You can just copy the url in the future. It turns into a link automatically.

  11. Taylor says:

    … I don’t even know what to say. Whatever happened to running into maurading orcs or a good old zombie bashing session…

    Is it just me, or has WoTC been putting out shoddier and shoddier products lately?

    … yeah.. after reading this, I’m really looking forward to DnD 4th Ed. (note sarcasm).

    T.

  12. Xeyla says:

    I’m waiting to see if they are going to re-introduce the Catoblepus again…

  13. Taylor says:

    I think I’d rather only see a 50 page monster manual versus the 500+ pages they have of stupid monsters.
    Is it just me, or would you guys rather see something more like the d20 Modern Friends and Foes guide they have in the core book, with rules to make your own monsters rather than having a bunch of stupid ones that no one (to my knowledge) actually uses?

    T.

  14. Michelle says:

    oh my god i nearly crapped myself laughing at all that. ive only been playing for 5 years and i barely heard of any of those…..im at work right now at a hotel and all the guests are looking at me as if somethings wrong cause ive got tears in my eyes and i cant breathe cause im laughing too much.

    duckbunnies? really?

    i cant take it!

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