D&D Bling: Bards
Posted by Yax on August 23, 2007
A Bard dances on a table
to show off his bling.
It’s D&D bling time! In this installment of the series we look at bard bling.
What is D&D bling?
Welcome to the 4th episode of D&D bling - a look at the stylish accessorizing of heroes in medieval fantastic worlds.
D&D Bling #4: Bards
Holy crap! I’m so happy I never had to put up with a bard in my party. I don’t think I could handle one in my adventuring group.
Eye-bleeding colored clothes
So much for all the XP invested in those stealth skills. Bards are so starved for attention that they will wear the flashiest clothes available. If you ever adventure with a bard you can only hope the clothes get dirty fast, otherwise your enemies will spot you a mile away.
Musical instruments
Who brings a guitar to a dragon’s lair? Seriously.
Singing during a fight
They say it helps the fighter. I say they need attention. Do you really want me to ask a fighter surrounded by 6 orcs if he’d rather have back-up or hear a tune? That’s what I thought.
Bardic knowledge
How do bards know so much? They’re not any different than other adventurers - they are really busy. They hone their magic and musical skills. They sharpen their combat abilities. They go on adventures. So where does all the knowledge come from? Whenever they have some free time they go shopping for some fancy trinket and they gossip with the old ladies at the mall.
Proof of bard bling abounds
Are you traumatized by the bardic obsession for style and fashion? Feel free to share stories and thoughts.
Want more bling?
Okay, you kind of miss the point. It’s a freaking fantasy game, man. If we wanted it to ber realistic, we’d get a job or something.
The point is this:
Do bards like bling?
And the answer is yes, so I’m kind of right. And I tried working. Not a big fan.
I too hate the idea of Bards in a party. They could be good NPCs from whom to gather info in a game. However, as a flamboyant, instrument toting PC, they just seem out of place in any serious adventuring party. I say leave the musical instruments at home and focus on the storytelling & lore abilities.
in short…..DEFINITELY TOO MUCH BLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Okay, you kind of miss the point. It’s a freaking fantasy game, man. If we wanted it to ber realistic, we’d get a job or something.”
I once bagged Yax out about his “bling” section but since then have grown in wisdom, its a funny place for a laugh, or 2 look at the other side of a class!
Im enjoying them now :)
Actually, I find Bards are blinged up in reality as well… Take ‘50 cents’ as an example:
- He sings (well, kind of…)
- He fights (well, he gets shot at…)
- He likes bling (definitely)
Bards should be disqualified from D&D because they are not fantastic enough. I dismiss the spellcasting part, it’s proably drug-related and I don’t endorse that.
I so agree with Pe0… It’s almost as if I could have typed that myself!
Down with Bards (and Dwarves!)
I don’t believe there is an “s” in “50 cent”. It is grammatical bardly extravagance.
You missed out one crucial thing about bards and their penchant for bling. All those abilities that cross over into the domains of other classes. Their Use Magic Device skill.
They don’t just want their own bling. They want everyone else’s too!
IT is the point of a bard to be an all rounder though!
I can’t believe I forgot to rant about the bards walking around with dozens of blingy magic items they shouldn’t even TRY to use!
Oh well. Might use it for D&D bling: rogues!
First - what a great site! Found it accidentally on a google ad that popped up on my blog.
I’ve never really seen a useful bard as a pc. They always seem to suck at combat and mostly only succeed in annoying all of the other players.
However, I find that they make infuriating bad guys if they are actually good at something else as well. Nothing makes players more enraged than a flamboyant singing menace who is constantly thwarting them. :P
Something you forgot to mention is their frequent toting of rapier/thin sharp stylish obejects. Their simply seems to be some strange quasi-bling-metaphor for having a sharp wit and a sharp tounge, a la Mercutio, from Romeo and Juliet
I find that because the bards are just flashy out of place people you have to work the character story a bit to fit in better sometimes. Like right now I am playing a gypsy healer style bard. She loves her bling as she knows the apprasial value of things, but she uses healing herbs andtravel skills to help the ranger find food and the like. Also with the clothing, you can make a bard that owns various outfits if she doesn’t go far rom her home. My has a halfling cart she brings with her so she loves to dress up and has 6 different outfit she brings with her.
With this in mind I have made my character essencial to the party even with the added bling as she always has supplies on hand with her caravan, she always has healing herbs and dried rations, she has super powerful bonuses when she sings or uses spells, (she is going to have)the feat which allows her to cast by singing so she can use spells without depicting her actions or words. She is a compatible, helpful bard.
Bard are great in parties… just not on adventures :)
hey never underestimate the old ladys at the mall. they know stuff….
but seriously bards can make the storyline better. lol one time i had a DM who gave my fighter this longsword of somekinda bard and it would sing at me and make up rhymes lol it was the coolest thing ever. bards are kinda like the jack of all trades so they have there uses. but yes bards are ultimately the most blingafied class sometimes taking up the role of the actual blingage
I play a bard… Specificaly a halfling bard… Aint that scary? Bards are good characters if you know how to play them. I do not I play a bard as chomic relief.
Bards are about BASS.
As they cruise alongside the rest of the party their ride is bouncin.
Pneumatic Barding +5, to get your ride bouncin.
You got to respect their Krumping!
Bards Suck Because They Can’t Just Use Normal Weapons Like Other Ppl And Their Lyre Sucks Because When They Are Lvl 1 They Can’t Even Use Them To Their Full Extent Or Even Partial Effect (i.e. Spells, Songs, Ect.)!
It’s “Fiddy” cent, not “50″. Don’t make him uh…
singrap at you.