What is D&D Bling?
This article is part of the D&D Bling series. Take a look a the D&D Bling homepage for an introduction to the articles and links to all the posts.
D&D Bling #6: Clerics
Some say that clerics are blingaholics. That’s an understatement. I say they’re bling-hoarding fiends. They had big medallions way before it became trendy. That’s bling.
Medallions
I’d like to believe that the medallion is only used as a focus for divine magic. But if clerics needed a divine focus only for practical reasons then some clerics would choose an object that is not a medallion. Without exception, all the clerics I know have a big trendy medallions - that’s bling.
Divine symbols
How many symbols do you need to etch into you armor and clothes? It’s not like NPCs are going to convert just because they see a cool logo of Pelor! Clerics plaster themselves in divine symbols because they’re fashionistas.
Bling obsession
Clerics are obsessed with bling and they hardly think about anything else. It leads clerics to make a lot of boneheaded decisions. They’re called clerical errors for a reason
Attention junkies
Clerics could spend a little more time practicing so they can use axes and swords like everybody else. On the other hand maces, although less efficient, make clerics stand out - and that’s fine with attention-starved priests.
Heavy Armors
Nobody wants to see the cleric in the middle of a fight. Why can’t they just wear light armor like the other spellcasting classes? Because full plates are the essence of bling.
Proof of cleric bling abounds
Are you tired of clerics hoarding bling? Please share stories and thoughts on this issue.
13 Comments
2:10 am on January 6th, 2008
clerical errors? Oh man that was bad :p
The only cleric I’ve partyed up with that didn’t have a medallion instead had his entire shield molded into the sun/face of pelor, which is even worse if you ask me.
4:48 am on January 6th, 2008
There’s an rpg.net column titled Clerical Error.
7:35 am on January 6th, 2008
And there’s always that one cleric who thinks he’s clever and cast’s a continual light spell on himself! (At least they did all the time back in A D&D time)
7:57 am on January 6th, 2008
Right. Clerics always cast light spells on their shield, maces, hammers, whatever…
8:11 am on January 6th, 2008
It’s the whatever that worries me Maikl….
:)
11:19 am on January 6th, 2008
They choose the gaudy medallion because it’s almost a necessity. When turning undead, there has to be a showy element. Everyone knows that zombies and skeletons are very fashion conscious.
Imagine:
“By the light of the Sun, and all that is holy, I call upon the great lord of the sky in all his glory to …” (it goes on like this for a minute or two…you all know the drill)
Now, you need to brandish a holy symbol impressive enough to match the speech. Gem-encrusted medallion? Yes. Crude carving made by a 5th grader in shop class? Um, no. We want the zombies to run, not fall over laughing.
12:56 pm on January 6th, 2008
That’s hilarious. I neve realised the undead were so fashion conscious.
1:52 pm on January 6th, 2008
Undead does not equal Uncool dear Yax…
4:09 pm on January 6th, 2008
I mean, did you see Michael Jackson’s Thriller music video?
1:12 pm on January 10th, 2008
You gotta love bling!!!
If I could put spinners medaillon on my warhorse I’d be wreacking havoc in an undead army…
7:51 pm on February 22nd, 2008
Imagine if you will a Sanctified Shield of Blinding.
Sanctify Armor, Shield comes from Dungeonscape, page 34. This allows the item in question to be used as a “legitimate divine focus”. As it’s a Shield of Blinding, use the command word and a brilliant blinding light bursts forth. Now that’s Bling!
12:07 pm on April 23rd, 2008
wait. so your not supposed to base your diety choice on the coolest logo…….darn >_<
7:24 pm on July 10th, 2008
Is there a god of Bling in 4e?