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D&D Bling: Rangers

Written by Expy - Published on February 27, 2008

What is D&D bling?

Welcome to the seventh episode of D&D Bling – a look at the stylish accessorizing of heroes in medieval fantastic worlds.

D&D Bling #7: Rangers

Where should I start? Blinged-up rangers are everywhere! You can say all you want about rangers but if you don’t think they’re obsessed with bling you should look closer – they probably just tricked you with their “hide (bling) in plain sight” ability.

2 swords

Who needs 2 swords? Come on. I know it makes for amazing combat scenes but if your life was on the line wouldn’t you want a shield like everyone else? Rangers are show-offs!

Favored enemy

Do you have to be pissed of and vengeful to become a ranger? Or is it the other way around? I think rangers just like to talk about themselves and tell people they really, really hate feys, owlbears, or whatever – they’re starving for attention.

Animal companion

Having fellow party members to adventure with is not enough for rangers. They can’t have heavy, shiny armors but they still need to stand out. So they hang out with cuddly animals. You could argue that an extra body is useful in combat but the list of animal companions a ranger can have includes camel, owl, and porpoise. And that’s bling. (I swear I’m not making this up! Check out the ranger specs).


Nobody ever takes that feat but all rangers have it. It has to be for show!


Nobody really cares about rangers spells. I mean, ranger are amazing in combat. But they still want to dazzle and amaze by talking to plants and making sculptures out of trees. That’s bling!

Proof of ranger bling abounds

I’m sure you’ve been a witness/victim of ranger bling in the past. Feel free to share your disdain for this ranger tendency!

Want more bling?

Check out the D&D bling archives.

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Written by Expy

Meet Expy The Red Dragon

Expy is the mascot for DungeonMastering.com and the real mastermind behind Expy Games. He likes to hoard treasure, terrorize neighbors, burn down villages, and tell white dragon jokes..

No matter how fearful the legends claim dragons are, they always end up being defeated in 5 rounds by adventuring parties they encounter. That’s what dragons are – experience points for the heroes in your Dungeons & Dragon party. And this mascot is no different, hence the name Expy.

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7 Responses to “D&D Bling: Rangers”
  1. Roleplay says:

    Yeah, most DMs I’ve played with have either a limit or a ban on Rangers.

  2. Nate says:

    Personally, and as a DM, I like Rangers. They are show-offs, but then again who isn’t in DnD. I also take exception to the Endurance Feat part. I’ve taken Endurance a number of times with Fighters and even a monk. I loves me the Die-hards. It’s great for role play too.

  3. Kelsey says:

    You forgot to mention their rapid shot, many shot, multi shot – arrow machine gun feats for free. That’s some bow bling.

    Love the series.

    P.S. Your RSS feed isn’t working at the moment.

  4. Yax says:

    how could I forget the AK47 like bows? I need to get angrier before my next bling rant.

  5. Issac says:

    Nah two awords isn’t bling, (see Musashi Miyamoto) but the way that Rangers are just Druids who failed the entrance exam is. Come on, magic fang? Animal companions that are half the level of the a Druids companion. These guys are just yanking on The Nature Mage’s coatails.

  6. Labareda says:

    Magic Fang is like shinny metal tooth bling for your rangers companion

    Greater Magic Fang is like diamond studded tooth bling.

    I mean the whole:
    1. “I’ve got you now mr ranger…. ”
    2. Eyes from the darkness followed by display of tooth
    –> now imagine tooth bling — thats a big shiny ‘shhiiing’

  7. anonymous says:

    All of my friends want to play as rangers.
    Just to give them a chance, I ended up with a party of 2 elf rangers and a half-elf ranger.
    They died pretty quickly and I laughed.

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