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Geeks Next Door – Night of a Thousand Ones

Written by Geeks Next Door - Published on May 2, 2009

Jessi, Mattt, Barry, and Maggie share their adventures with Dungeon Mastering readers. Follow them on Twitter: Barry, Maggie. You can read more GND @ GeeksNextComic.com

This is a guest post from Geeks Next Door. They agreed to write D&D-related strips for Dungeon Mastering and share their thoughts on their creative process, as well as their Dungeons and Dragons adventures. Enjoy!

Geeks Next Door on DM #3

Thoughts from the Geeks Next Door

The GND crew agreed to give their thoughts and comments on the strips they write for Dungeon Mastering. Let us know what you think by leaving a comment. I hope you enjoyed the webcomic.

JESSI – Now that we’ve gotten the obligatory “Magic Missile” joke out of the way, let’s talk dice.  I often end up on the low-ish end of the dice (better than a crit fail!), though I know a few people who seem to roll high all of the time.  (One person I know has gotten at LEAST eight crit successes in a row – using her Dad’s old First Ed. D&D dice.)  I’ve also known people who “punish” their dice after a bad night – things like sticking them in the microwave, screaming at them, throwing them… …all sorts of odd things.  To be fair, I have a silly habit of rolling them until they start hitting higher numbers.  It’s not very effective – they go right back down again.  What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen someone do to attempt to improve their luck with dice?

No comments from Mags this week – she’s preparing for a few final exams and getting ready to graduate from college!  HOORAY MAGGIE!  Feel free to hop over to her blog and give her good wishes!

MATT – Traditionally, if I’m not running a game, I usually end up playing wizards.  Just being able to obliterate a battlefield within a few rounds is way too much fun.  And if the party doesn’t get out of the way when they hear you yell “FIREBALL!!!!”, then obviously they haven’t been trained properly.  On the other hand, excessive Magic Missile-ing has been shown to lead to sneak attacks in the back — as Brust says, “No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will really cramp his style.”  So in the end, it’s all a big wonderful delicate balancing act.

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18 Responses to “Geeks Next Door – Night of a Thousand Ones”
  1. Adrian says:

    Hahaha, “Night of a Thousand Ones” sounds pretty cool until you put it in context.

  2. Dragonshaos says:

    One of the things I do to help increase my rolls when things look grim (and for whatever reason it works for me) I cup the dice in my hand and start singing “Dum, diddly dum, diddly dum, diddly diddly diddly DUUUUM!” and roll. I’ve won many battles this way. When i first did it as a joke, my friends would laugh. They have come to fear my little song…

  3. GroovyTaxi says:

    Dice have a soul. They think, they plan, they act.
    I use the same set of dice since I’ve started playing, which is seven years away from today. They really represent my playing style and preferences : I’m usually the DM. I don’t want my players to die (not too quickly, at least), but I want them to suffer a bit. My dice always seem to guess what I want to happen.

    I once played with a set of dice we had borrowed from a friend’s sister. They were light green with white spots all over them, and everyone called them ”the ugly dice”. In one single game (of about two or three hours), those ugly dice had performed three instant kill rolls (roll 20, roll 20 again, and succeed again) on players. That’s what they get for mocking the ugly dice. Being eaten by low level venomous spiders.

    We have all sorts of superstition related to dice. We have the two white dice : one is lucky, one is unlucky. We never know which one is lucky and which one is unlucky, but when we roll them both, there’s always one getting over 10 and one getting below 10. They never both roll below or over 10. Shazam!

    Basically, dice are just like Pokemon! They come in different shapes and color, and you get to choose which one’ll help you in battle. They’ll be nice to you if you treat them right, but they can turn traitorous if you don’t. Love your dice, feed them, sleep with them, and remember to thank them for all those great rolls they did. Give them names, keep track of their greatest moments, and consider them equal to any other players sitting around the table. When you’ll end up saying ”Barney once rolled the highest crit score for a longsword and allowed me to cut William’s annoying gay mage in two halves!” in the middle of a game session, you’ll know you’re on the right track.

  4. shinobicow says:

    I have a different set of dice for each type of character and each situation i play in: I have a set of dice for PvPing, which always seem to roll high whenever i’m fighing other people, which i do a lot of because of my participation in the 20 man PvP’s at the Strategicon conference which existed up until a few years ago (maybe they are still going on); i have a set for straight up roleplaying, a nice little set of frosted clear dice with black numbers; i have a set for combat, they are all copper, brown, purple, and other colors with gold numbers; and finally i have a set of silver dice, metal ones, these are the game winners, they are heavy and they punish. I keep all these dice inside a leather bag, which i keep inside a chainmail bag, which goes inside a wooden, and leather box. I feel that if the dice have a home, then they won’t be so restless… the last game we had, i never rolled a single die under 15, except for the one time i mistakenly picked up the wrong die for the wrong situation… i also rolled 10 crits that night as well.

  5. Jacques says:

    Been playin’ sine 1982 I still have some of the dice from those days. I have one red 20 sider that has rolled four, yep, read ’em, 20’s in a row. As either a DM or a PC when I tell whomever I am rollin’ agin’ I’m rollin’ T…W…E…N…T…Y… they usually get that terrified looked in their eyes cuz, sure as Dwarves and Giants don’t mix I am a’rollin’ a 20. And this dice will not go away. Players have stolen it, I have missed placed it, and my cats have chased it but it keeps on showin’ up when its time for me to conquer. D&D Rules! Hmm, is there a correlation between that last cheer and singlehood?

  6. Yax says:

    Gawd I love rolling 20s! Everyone feels like the DM rolls higher than PCs. I’d love to see statistical studies made on this – it feels like it really happens.

  7. Squeek says:

    Ah…The Night of a Thousand Ones…Too many times…It doesn’t help I tend to play lightweight characters…The only thing that’s saved me is the fact I’m decent friends with the barbarian…

  8. McAlister says:

    Hum, well we have a player in my group who is said to have been blessed by the Dungeons and Dragons Pope… Hes never rolled below a 10, At first we thought he was cheating, But as we watched his rolls we realized he was magical.

    We also have what I call my God die I stole it accidentally from a guy one night at a hobby shop after wed just finished up a game of Heroscape. I’ve rolled it 7 times now each of those have been a 18 or better. Lets just say I bought him a new D20 and forgo to mention the ungodly luck of his old one.

    We also had a guy bury his dice after he had a “night of a thousand ones” he said a little speech and then tossed them in and we never saw them again.

  9. Rob says:

    I’ve never had to do anything – dice just like me. I’ve always been lucky with them in every game I’ve played. They just seem to wanna roll my way…

  10. J.T. says:

    Everyone has their ‘Night of a Thousand Ones’, goesn’t matter how many sides your dice have, those nights still happen… if you’re lucky, it’ll be somebody else’s night.

    Funniest thing I’ve seen done involving dice and luck? Not so much seen as do, but I never refer to my dice in the singular since the singular of dice is what I don’t want to do… unless I’m rolling to hit/wound the other player in Warhammer 40k. It must work, since one of the last tournaments I was in I had one of my models holding out against fifteen of my opponents and not only making every save for about three assault phases (two turns, totalling somewhere in the neighborhood of fifty or sixty plus attacks), but hitting with all his…

    Until I made the mistake of using the singular term and promptly failed multiple saves, causing my model to lose all his wounds in one go…

    So, yeah, I don’t refer to dice in the singular, even if I’m just talking about a single dice.

  11. Crimmy says:

    Well, I know a guy who rubbed garlic in his hands to have a “better” luck at dice.

    Since then, the only luck for him is to be able to throw them, because his hands either smell, or are somewhat irritated by the chems in the garlic. I suspect he is allergic, he says it’s his luck. Who am I to negate him his ideals, if they are good enough for me to laugh?

  12. Fred says:

    i once had a player who seemed to role well only when he threw his dice at me.

  13. Neko chan says:

    XD Omg! Jessi you rock! That’s like the perfect character for Barry! XD If I end up going to Otakon, can I PLEASE play a rpg game with you guys?! You make it seem soo fun! I’m still a beginner when it comes to the board games, but maybe I can learn a little from you all? ^_^ I’ll keep reading this and Geeks Next Door. ^_^ Much love!

  14. Amy says:

    We used to play in a buddy’s basement which was also where is bedroom and bathroom was. Now, those of you know (or at least have heard of) guys in their 20’s know that their bathrooms are not the cleanest places to be found. Anyways, we punished “bad” dice by throwing them into the bathroom and leaving them there while they thought about what they had done. We called it Dice Time-Out. Although we no longer play there, we still threaten the dice with that bathroom. ^_^

    I also have a crit die. It is a red d20 with white letters. After I roll a nat 20 on another die for a crit, I roll that one to confirm. It has never let me down. *Good die!* My players hate when I reach for my crit die, because they know what it means.

  15. Kowalacake says:

    We had a player like that. Well, a few actually. The wizard was the one who attacked anything for no reason though….

  16. Iz_ismynam3 says:

    Ha! I might have one to top off every one of yours!
    My dad used to roll & DM with the current mayor of my hometown and when the mayor was facing a giant-about to kill his character he’d been rolling ones against all night, he said “Die, you gravy-sucking pig!” and 100% Critted the thing.

    All I do is roll up a curving surface and that doesn’t always work.

  17. Crimmy says:

    Well, I wanted to do this a long time ago, but I didn’t have enough time to get it right.
    Anyway, the first part in what I expect to be a grand cross-posting of GND OotS pics.

    Behold, the two males:

    [http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm112/Thecrimsonmage2/BARRY.png] Barry

    [http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm112/Thecrimsonmage2/Matt.png] Matt

    Hope ’tis of your liking!

  18. Gavin says:

    When I’m DMing I often catch myself ‘fudging’ rolls in my players’ favour, simply because my dice like killing PC’s, mine or friends…

    …that being said, my current crop of PC’s seem to be surviving well. I’ve taken to petting the things for good behaviour.

    My significant other has a red D6 she used for GURPS. That was the one campaign where I found myself fudging the other way, cos that die loves her. She now wears it as a pendant, and I swear it’s been putting her new polyhedral set through some sort of training regime. Every since her GURPS character survived three consecutive, purpose built deathtrap sessions she’s had the luck of the very devil himself.

    Oddly, she now seems to get ill whenever she’s not wearing her new pendant. She even sleeps with the damned thing on.

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