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Immutable D&D laws

Written by Expy - Published on December 20, 2007

Some things are inevitable

In no specific order…

  1. Players will act unexpectedly.
  2. Players will make out-of-character comments.
  3. Memorable quotes will be uttered.
  4. Players will think their characters are invincible.
  5. Combat with über-villains will anti-climactically end in 2 rounds.
  6. When attacking a PC with less than 10hp the DM will roll a critical hit.
  7. Players will spend at least 1 hour trying to activate mysterious magic items they stumble upon.
  8. Druids will wear antlers.
  9. Players will always loot corpses except when they would find an important clue for plot advancement.
  10. Players will think unimportant details are essential.
  11. Players will ignore obvious clues.
  12. DMs will improvise.
  13. DMs will eat pizza for free.
  14. Two players will end up being incapable of communicating because one of them thinks the conversation is about the game world and the other one thinks it’s about the real world.
  15. Fighters will roll 2s on their level up hit dice.
  16. Wizards will be cocky.
  17. If you spend more than 4 hours planning a scene, the players will unknowingly avoid to take decisions that would naturally lead to playing out that scene.
  18. Paladins will act like special-needs fighters “because of their alignment”.
  19. Players will roll dice for no reason.
  20. Everyone will have fun!

These laws are immutable… But can be changed or added too! Let me know what you think!

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Written by Expy

Meet Expy The Red Dragon

Expy is the mascot for DungeonMastering.com and the real mastermind behind Expy Games. He likes to hoard treasure, terrorize neighbors, burn down villages, and tell white dragon jokes..

No matter how fearful the legends claim dragons are, they always end up being defeated in 5 rounds by adventuring parties they encounter. That’s what dragons are – experience points for the heroes in your Dungeons & Dragon party. And this mascot is no different, hence the name Expy.

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10 Responses to “Immutable D&D laws”
  1. sylvain says:

    21. A player will challenge your ruling on something that they want to do but that is rediculous. (i.e. wanting to throw a dagger and then throw another so that it hits the first and redirects its flight path, and claiming that the DC for this would only be 20)

    22. Diviner wizards will always use their divining spells in the manner or time in which it is least useful to advance the party/plot.

    23. The players will argue incessantly that their character could “take down” the others’. (perhaps I need to stress the PARTY in “party”)

  2. Pe0 says:

    From now on since he takes it for granted the DM will not eat pizza for free!!!

  3. Ian says:

    1. Players will act unexpectedly.
    Really more of an RPG rule in general…

    2. Players will make out-of-character comments.
    Ditto…

    3. Memorable quotes will be uttered.
    Ditto… Tritto?

    4. Players will think their characters are invincible.
    Corollary: And often won’t be wrong.

    5. Combat with über-villains will anti-climactically end in 2 rounds.
    If you let it… If you want a climactic combat, don’t bring the uber-villain in right away. Let him wait in the wings and talk smack whilst his minions are slaughtered.

    6. When attacking a PC with less than 10hp the DM will roll a critical hit.
    If you’re lucky ;)

    7. Players will spend at least 1 hour trying to activate mysterious magic items they stumble upon.
    Sigh…

    8. Druids will wear antlers.
    I got a funny story about that… Well, probably not funny to you, but funny to my gaming group.

    9. Players will always loot corpses except when they would find an important clue for plot advancement.
    Mmhmm.

    10. Players will think unimportant details are essential.
    Another general RPG rule…

    11. Players will ignore obvious clues.
    And another

    12. DMs will improvise.
    And another

    13. DMs will eat pizza for free.
    Man, I wish I was in your group!

    14. Two players will end up being incapable of communicating because one of them thinks the conversation is about the game world and the other one thinks it’s about the real world.
    Don’t think I’ve ever seen this happen, oddly.

    15. Fighters will roll 2s on their level up hit dice.
    All the more reason to do away with dice and use a fixed amount.

    16. Wizards will be cocky.
    None of my players play spellcasters, amazingly enough.

    17. If you spend more than 4 hours planning a scene, the players will unknowingly avoid to take decisions that would naturally lead to playing out that scene.
    General RPG rule…

    18. Paladins will act like special-needs fighters “because of their alignment”.
    That or act like “fighters without bonus feats” in spite of their alignment!

    19. Players will roll dice for no reason.
    General RPG rule

    20. Everyone will have fun!
    If only that were really a rule…

  4. Benjamin says:

    “9. Players will always loot corpses except when they would find an important clue for plot advancement.”

    “19. Players will roll dice for no reason.”

    Too true in my experience.

  5. Hoss99 says:

    Players will spend all day searching a empty room trying to find a secret door or clue the refuse to believe that a room could just be…..EMPTY!!!

  6. Asmor says:

    Hoss99: Players will spend all day searching a empty room trying to find a secret door or clue the refuse to believe that a room could just be…..EMPTY!!!

    Unless, of course, there’s actually something to find. In which case, the PCs will merrily continue on their way without even stopping to regain spells.

  7. Awesome! How about, “Players will insist on applying game rule to real life”? I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’ve ever been to game where the players didn’t insist on a saving throw on the last slice of pizza and call the bathroom breaks “breaking character.” : )

  8. tezzet says:

    Once my players stood in the same room for an hour because they couldn’t figure out how beat a puzzle, even though there wasn’t one, just an open door.

  9. rune traveller says:

    players will spend an hour debating on how to best walk past some random guards, but will charge headlong into an enemy encampment, surrounded by foes and at half hit-points

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  1. […] of RPG Thoughts, and confirm the inevitability of some things in RPGs, as suggested by yours truly (Immutable D&D Laws) and Stupid Ranger (Some things are […]



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