1. No matter how much time you spend creating the session, you will forget something.
2. No matter how detailed your map is, the players won’t understand something.
3. To 90% of the adults AD&D is a “satanic ritual”.
4. There’s 90% chance that one or more players won’t be able to come to the session.
5. If all the players come to the session, the DM won’t come.
6. If all the players and the DM can come, they won’t have the place to play.
7. If all the players and the DM can come, and they have the place to play, one of them will have to leave early.
8. There’s no such thing as “enough dice”.
9. No matter how much snacks and drinks you buy, there will not be enough.
10. No matter how much snack you eat, you will still be hungry.
11. If the drink is spilled, it’s spilled on the character sheet.
12. You always have to go to the toilet in the most important moment.
13. If the die rolls off the table, it will roll high.
14. …and the DM will not accept it.
15. When you roll your prime perquisite statistic, you will roll the minimum value (so you don’t re-roll), but not a point more.
16. 90% of all critical hits actually do only 2 damage.
17. No. 16 doesn’t apply on enemy critical hits.
18. No matter what level you are, the bartender/blacksmith can always kick your butt.
19. If you wear heavy armor, the campaign will be set on a boat.
20. “Hide in shadows” fails only when you are directly behind the enemy.
21. Climbing checks fail only on the last 10 of 100 meters of the mountain/wall.
22. All the NPCs you try to steal from are actually retired 20th level adventurers.
23. …and they are broke.
24. Although you can disarm the trap, you cannot take it with you (or at least one part of it).
25. All skeletons in the world are animated.
26. All corpses in the world are animated.
27. One good deed deserves a prison.
28. According to players around the world, there at least 1000000 abandoned temples in Forgotten Realms only.
29. Same for abandoned castles.
30. No matter what non-weapon proficiencies you chose, the DM will make them useless.
31. Animal training is not as cool as it sounds.
32. Wizard’s of the first 5 levels only use is to add color to the party.
33. Dragons and +3 items are non-existing during the first 10 levels, and then they tend to appear everywhere and all the time.
34. Quarterstaffs are good firewood.
35. …and that’s about their only use.
36. Sewers are a natural habitat to 90% of all evil beings.
37. According to DMs around the world, most rangers don’t actually like forests.
38. 90% of all bandit groups consist of at least one ogre/bugbear/giant.
39. Even after 1000 years, all traps in a dungeon are still functional.
40. Priest robes make good bandages.
41. …and that’s about their only use.
42. There is no such thing as “one goblin”.
43. Same for orcs.
44. Actually, that applies to 90% of evil creatures.
45. Caravan’s primary use is to attract robbers, so you can rob them.
46. If it contains three or more gems, it’s cursed.
47. If it’s a scull and it contains three or more gems, you are dead.
48. There’s no such thing as “treasure heap in an empty room”.
49. Enemies have unlimited supplies of ammo.
50. If it does 1d n damage, it does 1 damage.
51. Except when used by enemy.
52. If it heals 1d n hps, it heals 1 hp.
53. Except when used by enemy.
54. Female player’s character advance much slower then male player’s character.
55. Except if she’s DMs girlfriend.
56. Magic resistance works only on beneficial spells.
57. Everyone end up in the Abyss sooner or later.
58. Gods aren’t immortal although they believe so.
59. Fireball and lightning bolt are more harmful than useful.
60. Wizards need several years to learn no. 59.
61. …and it’s usually when they kill themselves with it.
62. Wild mages live shortly.
63. Psionic is a cool class, especially if DM doesn’t know much about them.
64. Elves have pointy ears, dwarves have pointy spears.
65. Vorpal sword are cool, until you make a critical miss.
66. Female AD&D players are rarer than gold dragons.
67. Female AD&D DMs are fictional beings.
68. 90% of female characters end up being raped.
69. …50% of them by an ogre/bugbear/giant.

character camp out for the night. one pc goes for more firewood on his first shift night watch, only to disturb a badger in the process (note: all char. are 1st lvl.) that PC tries to fight off the 1/2 CR badger only to have his ass totally handed to him (thanks low rolls) and reduce him to 1 HP before nailing the badger. the following day….all 3 PCs disturb a family of wild boar and badger boy gets killed in the ensuing battle..

….didnt see THAT coming ;P