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13 things unlucky players might hear

Written by MythicParty - Published on March 17, 2015

house_of_cards_fan_artAt the very end of the adventure, as the players head into that final room to confront the main enemy, what will the big monster say to them?  Well this article gives you 13 catchy bits.  We’ve been going over some of the more vivid quotes from the inaugural (punny) season of the Netflix political drama House of Cards.  They’ve been organized by what I’ve seen as the various personality aspect of the show’s main character, Frank Underwood: benign, malign, and monstrous.  We started with those things NPCs helpful- benign- to the party would say.  Then we went over those things NPCs antagonistic- malign- to the party would say.  Now we’re left with the truly wicked.  The downright monstrous; Latin monstrosus.

Stuff that dragons or demons or vampires would utter right before they started their attacks or declare during a suitable ‘pause’ in the action.  And this dialogue isn’t always easy to come up with, especially on the fly.  So to help you get in the improper mindset of a very evil non-human NPC, here are 13 cringe-causing quotes, all courtesy of FU, to try on for monstrous size.

  • “I’m feeling hungry today.”
  • “You seem far too relaxed.”
  • “You know what I like about people?  They stack so well.”
  • “Nobody can hear you.  Nobody cares about you.  Nothing will come of this.”
  • “When I end something I end it.”
  • “Doesn’t matter what side you’re on, everybody’s got to eat.”
  • “Remember this moment when you resisted me.”
  • “This is where we get to create.”
  • “It only takes 10 seconds to crush a man’s ambitions.”
  • “I have often found that bleeding hearts have an ironic fear of their own blood.”
  • “I will make it my mission in life to obliterate all hope and happiness that you manage to cling to.”
  • “Did you think I had forgotten you?  Perhaps you hoped I had.”
  • “For those of us climbing to the top, there can be no mercy.  There is but one rule:  Hunt or be hunted.”

There ya have it.  Straight out of the mouth of those who eat babes.  Like all acting, practice makes perfect: if you can try these out a few times beforehand in front of a mirror to work on the right intonation and affect, it will feel more comfortable, therefore delivered more naturally, and the end result can be positively dramatic.  (Especially since these all should definitely signal that bad times are a-coming)  Remember that in this portion of the shared storytelling you’re acting as a guest starring role.  Make the most of this opportunity!

Alright, any of these 13 Frank quotes seem particularly monstrous?  Have a memorable one-liner you’ve delivered to your players?  Please let us know in the comments below.

Written by MythicParty

Dog-loving, movie-watching, pizza aficionado. Content Editor for DMing.com, Project Manager for AvatarArt.com, & player of the coolest characters in a weekly D&D game. Halflings are the real heroes.

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