How to Befriend a Dragon
By Guest Blogger Alan “Elderon Analas” Patton
The Basics
Now I know what you’re going to say, “You can’t befriend a dragon, they’re just killing machines.” Now, I’m here to point out all the things wrong with that sentence. One, yes you can befriend a dragon, some are just tougher than others.
Two, we’re all not just killing machines; (though your DM may portray us this way) it’s simply not true. I will go into further detail on both of these subjects shortly. But in the meantime, I would like to talk to you a little bit about me. (As I love to do.) I grew up in a small cave outside an even smaller town, there I was raised by a very loving family of adventurers who had stopped adventuring. I loved to hear there stories of adventure, though I didn’t much like the ones where they killed a dragon but, they tended to stay away from those. But now I’m rambling, lets get back to the topic at hand. I’ll start off with why dragons can be friendly. Then I will go into how we are all not killing machines.
First, We can Be Friendly
- Never come to one of us with a weapon.
- Always have a good sum of gold on your person.
- Show your respect.
- Talk kindly about the dragon.
- Kindness goes a long way to a dragon.
You saying a few nice things can really make a difference, as well as keep you alive. It will also make a young dragon like you all that more, and a older one a bit more trusting.
Follow these tips and guidelines and you should have a more pleasant experience with your next dragon.
Second, We’re All Not Killing Machines
Now onto the subject of “All dragons are killing machines.” which again is not true. Now most dragons appear vicious and we are, when we want to be. But more often than not we are kind hearted. We look down on most creatures but, this does not mean we don’t like them.
Favorites:
Some dragons go so far as to have a favorite species or type of creature. I myself have grown fond of humans. Particularly because I was raised by a human family as a small dragon, as I said above briefly.
Your offering:
We like food along with your offering of gold. A dragon is much more apt to listen with full stomach. This means we will be looking at you as a person, not a snack. But, that’s beside the point. Most dragons will listen to any ones offer for friendship it’s just in how you do it.
Your Personality:
The way you speak will be a very large influence of what the dragon thinks of you. Talking in soft calm tones is much easier on our ears rather than doing something similar to just barking commands. These soft tones will let the dragon know you’re a kind person and will be more likely to get along with you.
The Dragons’ Age:
The dragons age also makes a difference as well. There are several things that are influenced by a dragons age, but for the most part it is what the dragon thinks of itself. A young dragon would know that you could defeat it easily so it would be more likely to stay with you for protection. An older dragon (like me) knows it can survive on its own and won’t need your help, this means he’ll be harder to convince. Now, I said harder not impossible.
The Finish
Follow these and any other ideas they may bring you and you just might gain a new dragon friend.
Do you have any dragon friends? Have you met any dragons you liked? Have you ever thought about what a dragon thinks of you? Tell me here, please leave a comment.
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Arete
Sounds an awful lot like dating.
Seriously, though, awesome article. I love the paradigm shift that monsters are not just a CR.
Wow, this is astonishingly different from the writing in your blog posts and comments. Either you really know how to turn on the professionalism or you have an extremely involved editor.
Fun article. I can really imagine myself trying for a “roleplaying only” dragon encounter and being as obsequious as possible. Imagine a dragon ally in your campaign!
This just gave me a ton of ideas. Man I love new ideas!
-Tourq
Way to go Elderon…Nice article
I met a dragon once.
………..he was not happy at all, tried to strike a deal with him cause someone took something of his..
………………….not happy at all………
………………………………………narrowly escaped! I had to use half my party as bait though. xD
Good article Elderon.
I also had a pet dragon once.
….er I mean…I was…a pet…there was…I mean..he was my friend?
…donteatme.
Love this article. One of my players has been begging me to have a dragon for a mount….and i have ben completely against it. But maybe, just maybe, with this info, he can befriend one, and we’ll see where it goes from there. i think he will be pleased with the compromise. :)
If anything, the real challenge is befriending an adventuring party.
GM: At long last, you round the corner, and come upon…a Dragon. It slowly raises it’s head and begins to speak. (Shuffles around for notes on the Dragon’s introductory speech)
Player1: Sweet, we have a surprise round while it’s talking! I use my last rage, then charge it!
Player2: I cast the Maximized lightening bolt I’ve prepared just for this – as a red dragon it’s not electricity-resistant.
Player3: When it opens it’s mouth, can I shoot an arrow into it’s mouth? Would that bypass any Natural Armor? What would the penalty be to shoot it in the mouth?
yeah, we adventurers can be just terrible in an encounter
we often don’t negotiate or even listen to what you say
heck, some of us (i am not one of these) even will just hunt dragons because “I needed the xp!” or “Hey, they’ve got a lot of gold and I need it to buy the +5 sword of awesome in the shop!”
these are the worst kind of adventurers and, sadly, the most common kind
@Krystal
I quote: “I also had a pet dragon once.
….er I mean…I was…a pet…there was…I mean..he was my friend?
…donteatme.” This is guite a funny little snipit you threw in there. I’m a bit confused. Some smaller hatchlings will be inclined to possibly follow adventurers around, making sure to stay hidden and only come out to swipe a guick meal when the person isn’t watching his food [laughs to self] some may even aproach at night just after the adventurer has gone to sleep to do a bit of investigating, (and mabey loot a bit of the shiny bobbles) to see what he or she is up against. If the dragon is found out it will more than likely stay hidden and try to comunicate, or fire its breath weapon to try and scare the adventurer and take to the skies and flee. It may return its persuit several days later. If the person is kind and gental twards the small dragon, he may very well earn himself / herself a new friend. So to go back to your first little snipit there. YOU were the pet, the dragon was a follower. And please. Like I said several times before. “I WILL NOT EAT YOU Krystal. YOU ARE A FRIEND.” “Wux re si bensvelk thurirl.”
@Noumenon
No I did this all by myself, it took a few weeks and much revising and editing (and resubmitting it about 5 times). But, it’s here now and I’m so glad you all like it. I really encourage the “roleplating only” dragon encounter as Kocho well knows about60 to 65% of my world population is Dragon or of some sort of Dragon race (Half-Dragon). I even have a dragon city by the name of WarFang. All dragons assume a humanoid form and wear special pendants to identify themselves. (very simple, yet so har for newcomers to understand) The normal humans, elves, dwarves, ect. all wear different pendants. The pendants also act as a rudementary census. Each evit post keeps track of how many people enter and leave the city and then it is locked down at midnight and a total is calculated from all the posts. This is a bit harder to do, but we’re dragons, not that hard. besides the point thank you and hope to hear of your dragon stories. check the comments of the last article you should be able to find my email, I want to hear all about them.
@ScarletStorm
You remind me of someone, oh yes my wife. She is a red dragon almost 1,650 now (shh, she doesn’t like it when i tell her age) and her name is Scarlet (for obvious reasons). we’ve been married for about a century now. It has been great. but anyway. What age was the dragon, or what age will it be. if anything lett it be juvinile (about 100 years old should be good) Ihat’s big enough for the d PC to ride on, and small enough for the dragon to walk through most doors and man sized hallways.
I remember the looks Kocho got when he rode into town on my head. Oh that was priceless.
@Doug
I know I mean i stroll into a town just wanting to visit the taver and suddenly I’m stareing four high and mighty adventurers in the faces. I mean all I want is about 20 – 30 beers and a good sized meal. BUT NOOO! i got to stand around with these four clowns and smack a few through a window, then i’m tired, annoyed, even hungrier, and more likely to burn someone to death, more than likely the stupid fighter with the nise shiny armor [stares into space "ahh shiny armor"] Oh sorry i like shiny things. anyway, yeah I have to burnsomeone and by this time I don’t even feel like having fun at the tavern. But, I do like the attacks your small party made, srrow down the throat “Wow!” i wouldn’t expect that. I mean if you adventurers talk to me I calmly sit listening, but noo, you two leggers can’t do the same for us, [dracoic curses] It makes me so angry, but this is nither the time or place to get into a heated argument. I’l’ save you the time.
@Kocho
ithquent xsio darastrix marinxar! astahii re ini karif wer tisvelkilti di jiakali. wux shilta ti gethrisj jalklar ios astahi bragging vur gloating zahae asta last svent. coi ui revolting, wer tisvelkilti ui svadrav astahii tepoha wer fothisev usv re wearing wer ternocki usv lyrik mamiss parts ekess prove coi. si beleave batobot wer ergriff rekisix batobot shilta svaklar darastrix ternock litrix usv ofilnarir re darastrixi persvek munthrek forms.
oh sorry. here i’ll put that in english of the rest of you:
God damn dragon hunters! They are by far the worst of all of you. You can not go anywhere without them bragging and gloating about their last kill. It is revolting, the worst is when they have the head or are wearing the scales or other body parts to prove it. I beleave that the only creature that can where dragon scale armor or clothing are dragons in human forms.
if any of you agree pleas say so. or if you have dragon scale armor, what dragon KINDLY offered their scales to you and what was their name? If they were gotten through harmfull means, just say so, I will NOT eat you. I promise.
Well i think that is enough from me for today.
Your Friendly Brass Dragon,
Elderon Analas
PS. Krystal next time you plan on meeting a dragon, bring a sacrificial cow or something. It will make the dragon alot happier. Thake it from a dragon, I know what I’m talking about.
alright that’s it Kocho gets a custom pic and I don’t! Please someone tell me how to do this. Please!
Psh, I never PLAN to meet a dragon, I like to stay the heck outta their way :P
[sniffles] But…But… You met ME. I thought.. you know we were friends.
[tear] I thought that you liked me and that we had a good friendship.
[angery snarl] I thought we were friends. I thought you and me were getting along fine, then you go and say something like that. [low growl] You were so nice to me. And I you. We agh….yth jahen zyak lotoc vur yth tepohada vi bensvelk youwe gethrisjir, si tir ti vucot kii wux ornla yenta creolnali hefoc batobot? tir wux ti hefoc ve tikil throdenilt?. Well? Do you not like me anymore is that it?
And I had started making a saddle for you to use to ride on me. Well now I’m a sad dragon. [lays on gold pile] Well I don’t know what else to say, I’ll wait here for your reply, please elaborate.
Elderon Analas
I have a friend who is a dragon. Her mother was the worst kind of monster – not because she was a dragon, but because she was planning to sacrifice her egg for a cult of undead-worshippers! We rescued the egg, which hatched a bit prematurely due to the trauma, but the wyrmling survived and we has been with us ever since. I admit that a quest to end a mad cult’s bid to take over the world is usually not the place for children, but young Westali has benefited from the rapid development common to adventurers and is unusually large and strong for her age, so it seems to be working out OK. Even better, after I semi-accidentally banished her mother to the Garden Plane and a deity had a long talk with her, we’ve even managed to end hostilities with her too. Westali is still part of OUR “family” though – If nothing else, I don’t think you could pry her away from us since we started finding all these big piles of treasure. Bringing a black dragon into town with us can be a bit awkward at times, but so far our paladin friend has managed to keep the authorities from doing anything rash. No doubt it would be easier if she took a humanoid form, but you don’t see me stretching my well-proportioned dwarven form to look like humans just because a city happens to be primarily human, so why should she have to make an even more extreme change? Anyway, Westali may be young but she’s a good friend and a valuable part of our adventuring party.
@Goede
I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A CULT! IT IS HORRIBLE!
But the dragon gods will surely smile upon you as you now traqvel for your great deeds of draconian heroism. May I be one of the first to offer you my blessing as I am a trusted dragon preist. YES WE HAVE PREISTS! Im not going to start with religion now but, this will certainly put you two leggers on our good sides. But please if you ever pass into the Amarambi deasert in the far west stop by the trade town of Silverton. They will gladly direct you to me, I would be honored to meet the saviors of one of our dragon kind. I would also like to speak to Westali myself. But for now, would you kindly pass along this message?
“Nomag wer darastrix ithquenti tiichi wux lae wux gogetoi shafaer. Nomeno ui vi jennu tiichi vur si majak wux sia tiichir lae algbo.”
She should understand this easily, unless her time with you has caused her to forget her natural language. (if this is true, I am deeply saddened.) our language is tied deeply to our heritage. If a dragon cannot speak Draconic, that is something of great sorrow. [tears fall] Well great, now i’m crying. I always tend to get too emotional, but this is a subject of great importance. But I fear that i must go, I hear the sound of footsteps approaching my treasure room, if you will excues me i must go devour an intruder.
(you know who)
Westali fortunately hatched safely with all her racial memories fully formed. As a wizard, I have studied Draconic myself and can assure you that she speaks it well. I, of course, have the usual thick accent of my race, but I enjoy reading the writings of your people – particularly dragon historians, who do a much better job of keeping things in perspective than humans, and don’t fill the book up with flowery opinionation like so many elven authors. Anyway, I will pass along your thanks to Westali; she’ll be partidularly pleased to hear it from another dragon I am sure.
That is good to know that she remembers her heritage. It put my firey heart to ease. Please do take the invitation to my home into consideration. This is something I do not do often. As for you, I take it you are an elf, or a human. But on the subject of history. Yes you people tend to bend the truth on our kind and never really tell the whole story. I’ll give you an example. You probably know of the great King Arthur (or however it is spelled). And of the great wizard Merlin that helped him. What you do not know is that Merlin was taught by a dragon in the ways of wisdom and magic. [smirks a bit] This I take great pride in, though none of your kind know of this. Tis a sad thing, some dragons still belive that that dragon is still chained under the castle in the underground caverns. But I digress. This is all a bit trivial. I wish you all happiness and prosperity on your adventures, and may much wealth befall Westali.
Your Brass Dragon Friend,
Elderon Analas
PS @Brian: Is it possible that I may sobmit more articles as a…um… “constant” author. I really like writing my articles and stories, but I am in no need of monitary compensation. I only ask because I like to write here and I would like to continue doing such. Everyone seems to like my writing style and well I like writing for friends and anyone who will listen. But my point is, is the position open for me to give you guys another article submission when I have one ready?
I think eating them helps… my “friend” the rabbit doesn’t seem to mind at all when I eat his buddy.
@Dominus
Yes eating people is fun. But me and Krystal are good friends. I would never, and I nean NEVER do anything to hurt her. And as long as you keep puting thoughts like that into my head about eating my friends remember, your my friend too.
Well dragons are fun and all, conversing with dragons is all up to a DM, yes i have tried, several times in D&D (and yes i know draconic) Its all basically how the DM wants it to turn out, luckily as long as i can stretch it out for 3 rounds before becoming an enemy, quick draw and deadly strike come in handy
Also btw *casts ‘hide from dragons’ on myself and sneaks away*
*Casts Dispell Magic* You can’t really slink away so easily. I only hope that you will stay a moment longer to have a plesent conversation with me. I am a dragon of peaceful talking, not fighting and death. If you have any intrest in haveing a pleasent conversation with a dragon now, be my guest. If not, you are free to leave. I would just like that you leave with honor, and NOT by turning yourself invisible and slinking away like a coward! Sorry for yelling, but if you would liketo talk then please add another comment.
*holds up my hands* I am a rogue assassin, its what I do, anywhoz *is waiting for next level to take the feat dragon cohort. DM finally got the book, even though i had it all along but now is allowing us to use the fun stuff in dar :3
How’s life going
Life’s well, I have much gold, I am content in my home, and I have a loving family. So, my stealthy friend, were you planing on pilfering my hoard and running? I see you are unarmed, and…. oh, is that a cow I see behind you there? Is that for me? I do so hope it is, may I have it? But, if you were planing on stealing from me, well I can’t have that. But, you came unarmed, you brought a cow, and I can smell the gold on you. I take it you either want to strike a deal, or have come to pay tribute. But, if anything I will be pleased with just talking, *licks teeth while staring at cow* though that cow does look delicious. But, I will stay and be nice and listen to you, or you can leave, it is your choice.
Your dragon friend,
Elderon Analas
Yes…. umm.. I am unarmed… *itches tattoos* very.. unarmed *rolled low on bluff for a total of 64*
The cow, by all means have it, not like I need it for anything. The halfling that was riding it died of unknown causes…. very unknown causes… yes… very unknown.
And I’ll talk willingly to you… no sense being buried like last time i met a brass dragon… not to say you would
Well I probably would bury you, just it isn’t that likely. Now if you excuse me… *reaches head past you. Grabs cow, swollows whole* …where was I? Oh yes, I won’t bury you, and I am glad you will stay. What is with your tattoos? They are quite exotic and intrest me greatly. Can you explain them, they seem magical. Are they? But, if you plan on harming me. Then you’ll be in for a tough fight. *snorts some fire and smoke, but sits back on gold pile casualy licking teeth*
Well lets see…. *pulls off a tatoo that looks like and it turns into a flintlock rifle* Ta-da, makes them easier to carry around *puts the gun back into my arm* You also might like my gauntlet, *holds up my hand and a blade shoots out and slips back in quickly* It works rather well with Mosquito bite.One of my favorite spells… along with this one *casts alter self and shifts into a Juvenile brass dragon* si ornla tepohada gethrisja mrith vutha shar…
But, you respect me in knowing that a pair of black dragons destroyed my home town and nearly killed everyone that lived there. [tear falls] Well if you excuse me, you have some nice items to show me, let me show you a few of my weapons. *polymorphs into a middle-aged man (about 45). Wearing a brass dragons scale jacket vest, with a simple white shirt underneath. Pants are a simple cloth. On the mans waist hangs two leather holsters. In them protrudes two silver and black handles. He pulls one out.* This is my weapon of choice. *you see that it is a long metal object in the shape of a L. The long leg is enscribed with draconian letters that you can’t quite read.* It is a 50 caliber Desert Eagle fireing hollow point AP rounds magicaly imbued with fire. I can’t tell you much, if anything I can’t tell you anything about this. But, feel free to ask me any question you want. I’ll answer what I can. Now, what can I do to make you feel more comfortable? Would you like some food, mabey something to drink? I have a fine assortment of meats and vegetables, as well as several casks of ale, wine, and other drinks.
*shakes head* I am very fine over here in the shadows….its where i grew up and how i make a decent living for myself, but i hear brass dragons have art collections, would you mind showing me yours? I have a small collection of my own… it fell of a caravan and i knew the owners would no longer be of need of such artwork. *somehow is telling the truth*
*holsters weapon* Yes I have a very extensive collection of art. I sketch and paint most of it myself, well except for the one of me. I also collect it, my favorite subject is, you guessed it, dragons. I also have a very nice painting of my wife perched on a mountain peak in the morning sun as the clouds drift by. It is my favorite. (post your email here and I will send you the actual pics I am talking about)But I would like if you would at least share a drink with me. Will you?
(thywolf@live)
sure, we can have a few drinks together, I can see no harm in it
Very Good! Please follow me. *he (I) walk down a long corridor cut into the crystalized sand. Upon the walls and leaning upon the walls from the floor are several large paintings and large paper sketches. Several moments later you enter another large room. You see along one wall several large woodden barrels with taps. There are two chairs next to a table. He walks over grabing four large mugs and fills them with a liquid from one of the casks. He sits in one of the chairs sitting the mugs down.* Please take a seat. But, I will warn you, I know how to hold my alcahol, well at least the 20 gallons or so. But you can have all you want.
i had a problem with your emil. It is thywolf@live.com or is it .org or .net? Please clarify.
Thywolf you should just email me. I’m at elderonthedragon@gmail.com But, I do not like spam. the more spam I get, the more people get hurt, and I don’t like hurting people.
Thywolf if you could respond to my emails I would like to continue our campaign, but take your time. That is why we started playing through E-Mail. So we could play at our own pace. I just want some kind of notification as to weather yourecived my E-Mails or not. Just in case I need to resend them.
Hay how’s the sky up there? U have room for one more buddy? Now I didn’t mean another buddy in your belly. Oh that came out wrong. Uh, hi?…………..pleas don’t eat me. There is not a lot of meat on me. If your hungry pleas eat my cow. She is plumped and juicy.
You know I really liked your article. To be honest I don’t complement dragons that much but you seem to be a pretty cool one. I wish humans could be a little more observant like you guys. Oh I’m sorry forgive me I didn’t introduce my self. My name is joe and I like dragons more then my kind, my race. Personally I don’t know why you want human friends. Humans are dumb panicking wild animals that always want’s to quench the thirst of war and blood. Well, not all of them. Some mean peace and happiness. I am a human after all. But I don’t understand humanity. Why must we fight? Sorry to ask so much in such short notice. Sorry krystal didn’t want to see you face to face. I’m hart felt, sad for you. :’( I bet gold may cheer you up, or maybe that juicy cow I promised you.
Well Joe, The skies are fine. The cool wind under my wings is amazing. And, I do have room, I also have a saddle custom made for me, so, I can take you up. I’d like to get to know you a little better. I’ve linked my private chat page to my name so joe if you want to talk, click there. Or, we can take a short flight if you want. Also, *licks lips* that cow would be delicious but, if you want to keep it… to bad. *eats cow*
Well, I was going to share the cow but you can have this one. In fact I have a farm out in north texas. It is filed with numbers of thousands of cows. But if I was you I would not eat so much of them. If you want to fly you need to get off the ground. All of them cows won’t help. Yeah we can chat. To be honest you are the first person or dragon I have spoken to on the internet. Now I know what your thinking. Why talk to you when I could have talked to any other person? Well you a cool friendly lizard. No, no I mean dragon, dragon. Sorry you the first dragon I talked too. I’m kinda nervous.
Well you really shouldn’t insult me by calling me fat. *growls at Joe* Mabey I’ll go burn that farm to the ground now. *sighs* Eh, ok ok, Get on, just don’t be calling me fat. Or, I might just drop you. *lays down and lowers wing* Just walk up mate. You aren’t gonna hurt nothing. *waits for Joe to get on* (Please PM me on Chatango. Go here http://elderonanalas.chatango.com/ )
No…….. I mean eating all those cows will put wight on you. That’s what I mean. Why would I say your fat? I ant that kind of human. Sorry for the miss under standing. Now, ware should we go?
Well if we want to know each other better we can chat about hobbies. Are favorite meals or just discus art. That’s right, I know you have an art collection and I am a art creator. I sketch mostly dragons as a mater of fact. You should see them. Oh but there not evil. They are peaceful, strong and wise, just like you. :)
Your friend, joe
I don’t exactly know how to get in. I tried five times and still had trouble getting in chatango. Sorry.
Hay, long time for a human and no speak. Is every thing okay?
I’m concerned about you. Every thing well? Pleas speak up, I am sorry if I had pushed feelings out far from friendship. I shall what for your response. Take time that you need, I can wait.