My most recent experience was playing a woman disguised as a man so she could join the Cardinal’s personal guard (in a Three Musketeers-style Savage Worlds game; “avenging her family honour” backstory ). I’d discussed it with the GM in advance and we decided we wouldn’t tell the other players – he contrived to bring it to light, while I tried to keep it concealed. It worked really well because the character was an insanely good-looking “pretty-boy” (Charisma of 8 – very high for SW) and would use “his” charms to get the crucial piece of information from a lady-of -court and then be off to join “his” compatriots before anything could come of the liaison. The other characters never actually found out she was a woman (a couple of times it nearly came out, but she was always saved at the last moment by a lucky die-roll). I played up the flamboyancy the genre cries out for – as did the other musketeers – and she was a really rewarding character to play.

In another instance I played a pregen female character in a Harn adventure we were playtesting. Her backstory had her keen on one of the other (male) PCs. We played this pretty straight, with my character peeling off with the object of her affections whenever the party had to split, but didn’t take it any further (he tended to see her as one of the guys). It added some colour to the game without diverting the action.

Having said that, some people I’ve shared the table with I would never want to see playing an opposite-gender character, pretty much for all the reasons listed in the article. I think I’ve been pretty lucky with the experiences I’ve had with my current group.

As to playing with family members, that’s something I really can’t imagine (very churchy, D&D-is-tantamount-to-witchcraft upbringing), and my wife and I play a lot of boardgames together, but she draws the line at RPing. If you can make it work, more power to you.

As far as gender-bending goes, I have had a lot of fun playing the gamut of sexes and personalities (wining and wenching male barbarian – check; ex-marine kickass female mercenary – check; female french scientist – check; ex-army male starship engineer – check; female space-navy pilot – check; introspective male druid – check). To me this is a big part of the fun of role-playing.

The groups I’ve played with have always been too interested in killing things and solving puzzles to waste time creeping each other out.

By the way, I am new to dungeonmastering.com. I’ve been following the feed for a few weeks now and I love the energy and ideas I see here.

Another note, a fellow player’s mother ran us through a game once. by the time she starting winking at player #3, my character quickly chose some actions that helped her get killed. I was so out’a there.

Now here’s the real kicker: The guy is my roommate. I suspect he has some unspoken issues that get expressed through the opposite-gender roleplay (I mean, come on, does he really think all women act like that, as he claims?)…but my gaming group isn’t there for his therapy needs. We’re there to have fun, and he was ruining everyone else’s fun, and not even having much fun himself since no one would “play back” to his overtures.

In the end, I had to move the game to someone else’s house, giving up the large table and ample space at my place, and exclude him from all my games for a time. Even now I can only include him in games that don’t include any of my friends, only the folks who live in the house. This is because the “friendly chat” and “stern talk” and every other verbal attempt I’ve made to bring the issue up has rolled right off his back. He refuses to understand the feelings of the other players and flat out claims he was doing nothing that should have caused any discomfort. His belligerence is why I just didn’t have him in my games for so long.

If any of you ever have to deal with a player like this…all I can say is, pray to the gods you don’t have to live with them!