What’s your inner D&D 4th edition character?

Table of Contents

25 questions. 1 answer.

Ever feel like your destiny isn’t to work in a tiny cubicle? Maybe it’s because your inner self is a Lawful Good Demigod Pit Fighter! You only have to answer a few questions to know what your inner D&D character is!

1 – Fighters are:

  • Powerful.
  • Overrated.
  • Great lobbyists. Why else would all the spells be voted out of the core books?


2 – Wizards are:

  • Powerful.
  • Overrated.
  • Sexy. It’s the robe – it looks cozy.


3 – Rogues are:

  • Powerful.
  • Overrated.
  • Sexy. It’s the tight black leather – it looks kinky.


4 – My weapon of choice is:

  • Something huge, like a greataxe.
  • Something crude, like a club.
  • Something normal, like a longsword.
  • Something elegant, like a rapier.
  • Doesn’t matter. I just want to kill things and take their stuff.


5 – My role in a party is to:

  • Be a leader.
  • Be a controller.
  • Be a defender.
  • Be a striker.
  • Get the party started!


6 – Your boyfriend/girlfriend scolds you because you were out all night and didn’t say where you were. What do you do?

  • A Diplomacy check.
  • A Will save.
  • A Fortitude save.
  • I cast Forceful Retort.


7 – Tieflings are:

  • Evil.
  • Creepy.
  • Horny.
  • Usurpers of the gnomes’ place in the core books.


8 – Dragonborns are:

  • Good.
  • Ugly.
  • The proof that everyone wants to be a dragon.
  • Usurpers of the half-orcs’ place in the core books.


9 – Are you a DM or a player?

  • DM.
  • Player.
  • Both.
  • I don’t play D&D right now.


10 – Your favorite dragons are:

  • Red dragons.
  • Blue dragons.
  • Black dragons.
  • Green dragons.
  • White dragons.
  • Gold dragons.
  • Silver dragons.
  • Copper dragons.
  • Adamantine dragons.
  • Iron dragons.
  • Dragon Turtles.


11 – Are you a good liar?

  • Yes.
  • No.
  • I never lie.
  • Doesn’t matter what the answer is since you can’t trust a liar.


12 – Which one of these activities would you rather do on a sunny Saturday morning?

  • Study.
  • Pray.
  • Work out.
  • Sleep.


13 – I really, really like to pwn:

  • Goblins.
  • Kobolds.
  • Zombies.
  • Noobs.


14 – I believe in:

  • UFOs.
  • Magic.
  • Elves.
  • All of the above.


15 – How often do you find yourself covered in blood?

  • Less than once a week.
  • One to five times a week.
  • More than 5 times a week.
  • What?


16 – You write a book and perform a sacrificial ritual to increase your sales. What do you sacrifice?

  • A gnome.
  • Something else.


17 – You see an old lady struggling going up a flight of stairs. What do you do?

  • I help her up.
  • I ignore her.
  • I help her down.
  • I punch her in the face.


18 – You’re taking a test and you see the guy next to you cheating. What do you do?

  • I tell on him.
  • I blackmail him.
  • I ignore him.
  • I punch him in the face.


19 – You have an appointment with a good friend. He shows up 45 minutes late. What do you do?

  • I guilt trip him.
  • I ask if he’s alright.
  • I don’t even mention it.
  • I punch him in the face.


20 – You killed something. What do you do?

  • Take its stuff.
  • Punch it in the face.
  • What?


21 – When I’m drunk I always end up:

  • Talking loudly.
  • Telling everyone I love them.
  • Drunk dialing people.
  • Drunk dialing everyone to tell them I love them.
  • I don’t drink.


22 – You bump into your best friend on the street. He stares at you wide-eyed and keeps saying “I am not an alien.” What do you do?

  • Meh. My friends always do that.
  • I ask him if he’s alright.
  • I call the authorities.
  • I punch him in the face.


23 – How would you describe the last D&D character you played?

  • Unique.
  • Powerful.
  • Fun.
  • 1337.


24 – Which magic weapon enhancement is the coolest?

  • Flaming +6.
  • Holy Avenger +6.
  • Perfect Hunter’s +6.
  • Lifedrinker +6.


25 – When I punch someone in the face I feel:

  • Good.
  • Bad.
  • What?


$raceHighScore){
$raceHighScore = $dwarf;
$topRace = ‘Dwarf’;
}elseif($dwarf == $raceHighScore){
if(is_string($topRace)){
$topRace = array($topRace);
}
$topRace[] = ‘Dwarf’;
}

if($eladrin > $raceHighScore){
$raceHighScore = $eladrin;
$topRace = ‘Eladrin’;
}elseif($eladrin == $raceHighScore){
if(is_string($topRace)){
$topRace = array($topRace);
}
$topRace[] = ‘Eladrin’;
}

if($elf > $raceHighScore){
$raceHighScore = $elf;
$topRace = ‘Elf’;
}elseif($elf == $raceHighScore){
if(is_string($topRace)){
$topRace = array($topRace);
}
$topRace[] = ‘Elf’;
}

if($halfElf > $raceHighScore){
$raceHighScore = $halfElf;
$topRace = ‘Half-Elf’;
}elseif($halfElf == $raceHighScore){
if(is_string($topRace)){
$topRace = array($topRace);
}
$topRace[] = ‘Half-Elf’;
}

if($halfling > $raceHighScore){
$raceHighScore = $halfling;
$topRace = ‘Halfling’;
}elseif($halfling == $raceHighScore){
if(is_string($topRace)){
$topRace = array($topRace);
}
$topRace[] = ‘Halfling’;
}

if($human > $raceHighScore){
$raceHighScore = $human;
$topRace = ‘Human’;
}elseif($human == $raceHighScore){
if(is_string($topRace)){
$topRace = array($topRace);
}
$topRace[] = ‘Human’;
}

if($tiefling > $raceHighScore){
$raceHighScore = $tiefling;
$topRace = ‘Tiefling’;
}elseif($tiefling == $raceHighScore){
if(is_string($topRace)){
$topRace = array($topRace);
}
$topRace[] = ‘Tiefling’;
}

if(is_array($topRace)){
$topRace = $topRace[rand(0,count($topRace)-1)];
}

//CALCULATE CLASS
$classHighScore = $cleric;
$topClass = ‘Cleric’;

if($fighter > $classHighScore){
$classHighScore = $fighter;
$topClass = ‘Fighter’;
}elseif($fighter == $classHighScore){
if(is_string($topClass)){
$topClass = array($topClass);
}
$topClass[] = ‘Fighter’;
}

if($paladin > $classHighScore){
$classHighScore = $paladin;
$topClass = ‘Paladin’;
}elseif($paladin == $classHighScore){
if(is_string($topClass)){
$topClass = array($topClass);
}
$topClass[] = ‘Paladin’;
}

if($ranger > $classHighScore){
$classHighScore = $ranger;
$topClass = ‘Ranger’;
}elseif($ranger == $classHighScore){
if(is_string($topClass)){
$topClass = array($topClass);
}
$topClass[] = ‘Ranger’;
}

if($rogue > $classHighScore){
$classHighScore = $rogue;
$topClass = ‘Rogue’;
}elseif($rogue == $classHighScore){
if(is_string($topClass)){
$topClass = array($topClass);
}
$topClass[] = ‘Rogue’;
}

if($warlock > $classHighScore){
$classHighScore = $warlock;
$topClass = ‘Warlock’;
}elseif($warlock == $classHighScore){
if(is_string($topClass)){
$topClass = array($topClass);
}
$topClass[] = ‘Warlock’;
}

if($warlord > $classHighScore){
$classHighScore = $warlord;
$topClass = ‘Warlord’;
}elseif($warlord == $classHighScore){
if(is_string($topClass)){
$topClass = array($topClass);
}
$topClass[] = ‘Warlord’;
}

if($wizard > $classHighScore){
$classHighScore = $wizard;
$topClass = ‘Wizard’;
}elseif($wizard == $classHighScore){
if(is_string($topClass)){
$topClass = array($topClass);
}
$topClass[] = ‘Wizard’;
}

if(is_array($topClass)){
$topClass = $topClass[rand(0,count($topClass)-1)];
}

$alignment;
$article = ‘a’;

if($good >= $evil+3){
$alignment = ‘Good’;
if($lawful >= 3){
$alignment = ‘Lawful Good’;
}
}else if($evil >= $good+3){
$alignment = ‘Evil’;
$article = ‘an’;
if($chaotic >= 4){
$alignment = ‘Chaotic Evil’;
$article = ‘a’;
}
}else{
$alignment = ‘Unaligned’;
$article = ‘an’;
}

//Paragon Path
$path = ”;
$rnd = rand(1,100);
//echo $rnd;
if($rnd > 90){
if(trim($topClass) == ‘Cleric’){
$path = rand(1,4);
if($path == 1){
$path = ‘Angelic Avenger’;
}else if($path == 2){
$path = ‘Divine Oracle’;
}else if($path == 3){
$path = ‘Radiant Servant’;
}else if($path == 4){
$path = ‘Warpriest’;
}
}

if(trim($topClass) == ‘Fighter’){
$path = rand(1,4);
if($path == 1){
$path = ‘Iron Vanguard’;
}else if($path == 2){
$path = ‘Kensei’;
}else if($path == 3){
$path = ‘Pit Fighter’;
$topClass = ”;
}else if($path == 4){
$path = ‘Swordmaster’;
}
}

if(trim($topClass) == ‘Paladin’){
$path = rand(1,4);
if($path == 1){
$path = ‘Astral Weapon’;
}else if($path == 2){
$path = ‘Champion of Order’;
}else if($path == 3){
$path = ‘Hospitaler’;
}else if($path == 4){
$path = ‘Justiciar’;
}
}

if(trim($topClass) == ‘Rogue’){
$path = rand(1,4);
if($path == 1){
$path = ‘Cat Burglar’;
}else if($path == 2){
$path = ‘Daggermaster’;
}else if($path == 3){
$path = ‘Master Infiltrator’;
}else if($path == 4){
$path = ‘Shadow Assassin’;
}
}

if(trim($topClass) == ‘Warlock’){
$path = rand(1,3);
if($path == 1){
$path = ‘Doomsayer’;
}else if($path == 2){
$path = ‘Feytouched’;
}else if($path == 3){
$path = ‘Life-Stealer’;
}
}

if(trim($topClass) == ‘Warlord’){
$path = rand(1,4);
if($path == 1){
$path = ‘Battle Captain’;
}else if($path == 2){
$path = ‘Combat Veteran’;
}else if($path == 3){
$path = ‘Knight Commander’;
}else if($path == 4){
$path = ‘Sword Marshal’;
}
}

if(trim($topClass) == ‘Wizard’){
$path = rand(1,4);
if($path == 1){
$path = ‘Battle Mage’;
if(rand(1,100) > 100){
$path = ‘Battle Archmage’;
}
}else if($path == 2){
$path = ‘Blood Mage’;
if(rand(1,100) > 100){
$path = ‘Blood Archmage’;
}
}else if($path == 3){
$path = ‘Spellstorm Mage’;
if(rand(1,100) > 100){
$path = ‘Spellstorm Archmage’;
}
}else if($path == 4){
$path = ‘Wizard of the Spiral Tower’;
if(rand(1,100) > 100){
$path = ‘Spiral Tower Archmage’;
}
}
$topClass = ”;

}
}

//epic destiny

if($path != ” && rand(1,10) > 8){
if(trim($topClass) == ‘Rogue’ && rand(1,100) > 98){
$path = ‘Deadly Trickster ‘.$path;
}else if(rand(1,100) > 98){
$path = ‘Demigod ‘.$path;
}else if(rand(1,100) > 98){
$path = ‘Eternal Seeker ‘.$path;
}
}

//Adjustments
if(trim($topClass) == ‘Paladin’ || trim($topClass) == ‘Cleric’){
if(trim($alignment) == ‘Lafwul Good’){
if (rand(1,100) > 50){
$topClass .= ‘ of Bahamut’;
}else{
$topClass .= ‘ of Moradin’;
}
}else if(trim($alignment) == ‘Good’){
if (rand(1,100) > 50){
$topClass .= ‘ of Avandra’;
}else{
$topClass .= ‘ of Pelor’;
}
}else if(trim($alignment) == ‘Unaligned’){
$x = rand(1,70);
if ($x > 60){
$topClass .= ‘ of Corellon’;
}elseif ($x > 50){
$topClass .= ‘ of Erathis’;
}elseif ($x > 40){
$topClass .= ‘ of Ioun’;
}elseif ($x > 30){
$topClass .= ‘ of Kord’;
}elseif ($x > 20){
$topClass .= ‘ of Melora’;
}elseif ($x > 10){
$topClass .= ‘ of The Raven Queen’;
}else{
$topClass .= ‘ of Sehanine’;
}
}else if(trim($alignment) == ‘Evil’){
$x = rand(1,60);
if ($x > 50){
$topClass .= ‘ of Asmodeus’;
}elseif ($x > 40){
$topClass .= ‘ of Bane’;
}elseif ($x > 30){
$topClass .= ‘ of Tiamat’;
}elseif ($x > 20){
$topClass .= ‘ of Torog’;
}elseif ($x > 10){
$topClass .= ‘ of Vecna’;
}else{
$topClass .= ‘ of Zehir’;
}
}else if(trim($alignment) == ‘Chaotic Evil’){
if (rand(1,100) > 50){
$topClass .= ‘ of Gruumsh’;
}else{
$topClass .= ‘ of Lolth’;
$topRace = ‘Drow’;
}
}
}
$innerCharacter = $alignment .’ ‘.$topRace.’ ‘.$path.’ ‘.$topClass;
$sql = ‘INSERT INTO dungeon_innercharacter.survey VALUES (“‘.$_POST[‘Q1’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q2’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q3’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q4’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q5’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q6’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q7’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q8’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q9’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q10’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q11’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q12’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q13’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q14’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q15’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q16’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q17’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q18’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q19’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q20’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q21’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q22’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q23’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q24’].'”,”‘.$_POST[‘Q25’].'”,”‘.$alignment.'”,”‘.$topRace.'”,”‘.$path.’ ‘.$topClass.'”,”‘.$alignment.’ ‘.$topRace.’ ‘.$path.’ ‘.$topClass.'”)’;
$rs = query($sql);
}else{
$innerCharacter = $_SESSION[‘innerCharacter’];
}
?>

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After analyzing your answers with state-of-the-art medieval fantastic artificial intelligence profiling technology, Dungeon Mastering is kinda pretty sure of whatever is being claimed here…

‘;
echo ‘Your inner character:
‘. $innerCharacter .’
‘;
$_SESSION[‘innerCharacter’] = $innerCharacter;

$sql = ‘SELECT * FROM dungeon_innercharacter.survey’;
$rs = query($sql);
$nbInnerChar = mysql_num_rows($rs);

echo ‘

Survey Statistics
‘;
echo ‘The survey was completed ‘.$nbInnerChar.’ times.
‘;

$sql = ‘SELECT alignment, COUNT(alignment) as “cnt” FROM dungeon_innercharacter.survey GROUP BY alignment ORDER BY cnt DESC’;
$rs = query($sql);
echo ‘

Inner Character Alignment Demographics
‘;
while($survey = mysql_fetch_object($rs)){
echo round((($survey->cnt / $nbInnerChar) * 100),2).’% – ‘.$survey->alignment.’
‘;
}

$sql = ‘SELECT race, COUNT(race) as “cnt” FROM dungeon_innercharacter.survey GROUP BY race ORDER BY cnt DESC’;
$rs = query($sql);
echo ‘

Inner Character Race Demographics
‘;
while($survey = mysql_fetch_object($rs)){
echo round((($survey->cnt / $nbInnerChar) * 100),2).’% – ‘.$survey->race.’
‘;
}

$sql = ‘SELECT SUBSTRING_INDEX(class,” of”,1) as “icclass”, COUNT(class) as “cnt” FROM dungeon_innercharacter.survey GROUP BY icclass ORDER BY cnt DESC’;
$rs = query($sql);
echo ‘

Inner Character Class Demographics
‘;
while($survey = mysql_fetch_object($rs)){
echo round((($survey->cnt / $nbInnerChar) * 100),2).’% – ‘.$survey->icclass.’
‘;
}
/*
$sql = ‘SELECT inner_character, COUNT(inner_character) as “cnt” FROM dungeon_innercharacter.survey GROUP BY inner_character ORDER BY cnt DESC’;
$rs = query($sql);
echo ‘

Inner Character Complete Demographics
‘;
while($survey = mysql_fetch_object($rs)){
echo round((($survey->cnt / $nbInnerChar) * 100),2).’% – ‘.$survey->inner_character.’
‘;
}
*/

/*
//Classes
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘cleric: ‘.$cleric;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘fighter: ‘.$fighter;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘paladin: ‘.$paladin;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘ranger: ‘.$ranger;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘rogue: ‘.$rogue;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘warlock: ‘.$warlock;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘warlord: ‘.$warlord;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘wizard: ‘.$wizard;
echo ‘
‘;

//Races
echo ‘Dragonborn: ‘.$dragonborn;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘dwarf: ‘.$dwarf;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘eladrin: ‘.$eladrin;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘elf: ‘.$elf;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘halfElf: ‘.$halfElf;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘halfling: ‘.$halfling;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘human: ‘.$human;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘tiefling: ‘.$tiefling;
echo ‘
‘;

//Alignment
echo ‘good: ‘.$good;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘lawful: ‘.$lawful;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘evil: ‘.$evil;
echo ‘
‘;
echo ‘chaotic: ‘.$chaotic;
echo ‘
‘;
*/

}
?>

194 thoughts on “What’s your inner D&D 4th edition character?”

  1. “Unaligned Human Warpriest Cleric of Sehanine”
    Huh, I usually think of myself as Chaotic Good Mul Paladin of Avandra… Interesting…

  2. My inner character:

    Evil Halfling Life-Stealer Warlock… Well, not as bad, as I had expected. I remember those evil halflings from Book of Vile Darkness. Gollum with invocations, blast shapes, and a shaved head. Kinky.

  3. I Have tried 3 and 3.5 and 4th… I did not like….any of them, That’s why I still DM my 1st & 2nd Edition rules hodgepodge.

  4. Close …kinda i guess… I am usually the Neutral Halfling Treasure Seeker of the party! And yes I said treasure seeker and so will you if you don’t want your achilles tendon slit when you aren’t looking! *Bats eyes* I wouldn’t really do that …… Or would I? Hehehe.

  5. Chaotic evil human paladin. I thought paladins have to be lawful good…
    Did they change it for fourth edition? I totally agree with ad&ddm and platypus dude that the previous editions were way better. Incidentally, 5th edition is coming soon, and they are going to “unite rules and systems from the very beginning, AD&D, v3, v3.5, and the latest, fourth edition.” it will epically suck.

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