The DM’s guide to uber-villains

D&D icons discuss their lifestyles

Expy, my red dragon friend and mascot, met an uber-villain recently. They talked about being D&D icons and decided to share their lifestyle with us, hoping it will help us mortal dungeon masters handle villainy correctly.

1 – Stats

I do not need a stat block. I’ll be toying with powerful nobles and merchants (and your PCs) from the shadows.

2 – Minions

I keep my hands clean at all times. Minions do my bidding.

3 – Credit

Henchmen may work for me but I always take personal credit for their success, and blame them for their failure.

4 – Associates

I cannot let a minion, or organized group, be associated with me. I will sever ties with henchmen quickly.

5 – Silence

I do not like to talk. It keeps me from listening and learning about my allies and enemies.

6 – Emotions

I cannot allow myself to care for others. Do not care about me, either. If you are enamored with your favorite uber-villain you will want to reveal details about his whereabouts to your friends (who happens to be your PCs, my enemies). My heart is made of stone. Yours must be too.

7 – Shining dimly

I shine, but never outshine my allies and enemies. I am not considered a prodigy – just competent.

8 – Reputation

I guard my reputation jealously. My spotless reputation opens doors and deflects blame.

9 – Attention

I court attention by seeming mysterious. I am easily noticed, but not easily read. It is human nature to be intrigued by, and attracted to people they cannot figure out.

10 – Home, sweet home

I let others come to me. I do not go to them.

11 – Arguments

I win arguments through action, not rhetoric.

12 – Dependence

I keep my friends, allies, and especially my enemies dependent on me. Once I establish an expertise, a position of power, I use it as leverage again and again.

13 – Honesty

Selective honesty and generosity lower the defenses of my enemies and keep my allies unwary.

14 – Finishing the job

When my enemy is down I crush him.

15 – Presence by absence

I will disappear If my allies and enemies do not acknowledge me. I want my presence to be felt and needed.

16 – Unpredictability

I perform, and publicize, random acts. My thought and action patterns cannot be known.

17 – Commitment

I commit to my goals. I never commit to others.

18 – Suckers

Play a sucker to catch a sucker. I seem less intelligent than my interlocutor whenever it is reasonable.

19 – Sweat

I work at night. I never run. I never sweat. All my accomplishments seem effortless.

20 – Shortcomings

I ignore and disdain the things I cannot have and the goals I cannot reach.

21 – Gifts

I am weary of gifts – they hide obligations. I let someone else receive gifts in my stead, shifting the obligations away from me.

22 – Success

I do not let success go to my head. When I reach a goal, I stop reaching.